So I woke up feeling some kind of way that I don't mind expressing. I'm stuck in purgatory of dating as a single mom. I for the most part have been a single mother of 3 forever. I wish not go into details of why none of the relationships worked out and i don't feel like I need to as there are tons of other single moms you can ask about why and how come lol. It's typical nowadays. I was married and that didn't work out b/c I cared about having a loving and stable family then just having a family just because it's whats supposed to happen.
I have been single without marriage since 2010. I have dated while stationed in Japan but I didn't have my kids so that really doesn't count. The problem i'm running into is how do you date as a single mom. There's always that rock and hard place delima. I'm disecting this as a whole so please don't look at my particular situation (NOSY lol) I am interested in someone and very faithful but I still go through what I am about to express.
1. Everyone says enjoy your life as a single mom grow yourself. Um I am grown, Um I learned and lot, um your not a single mom and your giving me advice, um who likes being alone, honestly. Let's be real your words are encouraging and all but are you in MY situation? Have you been in my situation? Do you know my background. Yes I've grown myself. I've learned a) I can be a supermom and cook clean and wash clothes all day everyday and play with the kids at night b) I can watch spongebob, and Dr. McStuffins with the best of them and actually enjoy them and c) I'm great at braiding hair, kissing boo boos, and coming to every function that is needed to support their school activities. I've grown me as a person. I can be alone and I'm ok with being alone but does that mean that I want to be NOOOO. I need ADULT STIMULATION! I need my girls nights, I need to talk to an ADULT, I need to go out to dinner and have some wine, I need to sit down and read a book that starts with "50 Shades of..._" without being interrupted lol. You get my drift?
2. I can date a man and not bring my kids around. This is smart and not too smart. I have done this before and seen the good and the ugly. I went out with men informed them of my kids and not have them meet my kids. The reason being b/c I don't want me kids to get close to this man and things not working out. What comes of this? Nothing too great. I get close to the man and we hit it off and then when I feel comfortable enough to bring them around my kids reality sets in...OMG she has 3 kids, OMG I have to play daddy, OMG I don't have kids IDK how to do all of this. Then I go sending them off with a kick to the rear and a wave goodbye.
3. Having them meet the kids right off the bat. These guys are the ones that love kids and are the playful type. The kids enjoy them, you all have family time and things are great. These are usually the guys that you aren't interested in b/c a)they are yound minded and don't know how to be in a relationship b)they are trying to hard to show you they are good father figures that they forget the 'I'm in a relationship and need to be a boyfriend too" aspect.
4."Exception to the rule" The all around great guy. He treats you like a queen, he treats the kids like princes and princess. He buys gifts, pays bills, washes your dishes, cooks and cleans, cuddly and magical and mythical lol. This is the guy I RUN FROM fast as lightening. Why is that?! It's the O SHIT factor. O SHIT everything I want in a man, O SHIT someone is gonna take care of me and my kdis, O SHIT what do I do i'm not used to this. RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
This is where i'm at with the single mom and dating thing. I'm loooking for comments, answers, advice anything lol. Am I the only one that experiences this? Please spare me the " Take this time to work on yourself, and the right one is gonna come along speech. " I've heard it all BE REAL WITH ME. If you are a single mom and found the right one did you have this problem and what did you do?